I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
