The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
