I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
