Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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