i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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