We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
