I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she peed on how many people?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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