I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
