No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
is that a dick in a sweater?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
