dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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