did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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