i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
