The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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