I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
