the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Oh god it's open bar.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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