omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
That accounts for only three of the penises
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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