party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
