You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
