Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
