I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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