now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
