my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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