my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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