I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
