she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
