I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
