# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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