Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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