i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
