He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
