i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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