i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
