How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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