i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
is it fun? or sober?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
