Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
