worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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