I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
