So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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