i will never coherently bang her
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
