...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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