Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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