Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
