everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
