Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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