She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
