All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
and you said cock pushups were impossible
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
