Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
