O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
