Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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