is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
